I’m fifty one and have never married. I know what’s said about people still single at my age, but there is a reason. I picked the wrong men and ended up a single mother. After I left the army, I moved in with my sister (her son suffered terribly with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis). I didn’t plan on it being permanent, but I fell in love with her kids! We stayed together 20 years. She made me choose between dating and her, so I gave up dating. Since I was choosing the wrong men, the decision was not hard.

Over time, she made me choose between others and her. Eventually, I found myself isolated and the target of her anger and continuous punishments. It’s not ALL her fault. I did things that hurt her, but she could not forgive me. After we separated, I went to my parents. Amazingly, at that very time my father needed surgery, so I cared for him. Unfortunately, he acquired an infection from the hospital that lasted 2 years. I cared for him until he died. By then, I was also caring for my mother, who’s frail health, physical and mental, deteriorated rapidly. I took care of her 24/7 for 5 more years. When my own health was threatened, I had to turn her care over to my sister.

When I was young, I longed for a husband who would love me and our children, but it was not meant to be. I do Not regret my decisions or caring for those wonderful people, but I have given up most of my life. I am now trying to find myself, so I’m not ready for love quite yet. I’m recovering from too many things. But I need to know if many people find love at my age? I mean, I know some do, but I would like to know if anyone has been through similar things and found love? I’m unsure if I’m wording this right, for it feels a bit awkward to write out.

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Filed under: Juvenile Arthritis

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